guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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