Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
