Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
