he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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