we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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