I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It's just like the Real World with babies
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
