Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
