So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
