Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
