Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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