dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize