Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
