Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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