idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
