It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
