dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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