real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we're making bets on your personal life
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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