They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Randomize
