Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
