Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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