when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.