Texts From Last Night

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  (260): View more from Indiana

  So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes

  (1-260): View more from Indiana

  Are your eyes okay

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I mean if I was Asian they would be

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  (260): So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes (1-260): Are your eyes okay (260): I mean if I was Asian they would be http://tfl.nu/l3r4
  Replies (8) Good night (2056) Bad night (536)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We should go out drinking together soon

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I'm still not going to have sex with you

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  (248): We should go out drinking together soon (734): I'm still not going to have sex with you http://tfl.nu/vh87
  Replies (22) Good night (580) Bad night (1342)
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  (916): View more from California

  put your butt on the phone this is a booty call

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  (916): put your butt on the phone this is a booty call http://tfl.nu/3vuo
  Replies (25) Good night (2892) Bad night (587) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?

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  (612): Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka? http://tfl.nu/htpr
  Replies (24) Good night (4183) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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  (810): Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it. http://tfl.nu/lg31
  Replies (8) Good night (501) Bad night (1437) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.

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  (330): We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever. http://tfl.nu/56mg
  Replies (38) Good night (10098) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (209): View more from California

  I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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  (209): I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart. http://tfl.nu/dd9c
  Replies (21) Good night (6842) Bad night (794)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.

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  (360): I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/54bi
  Replies (14) Good night (1127) Bad night (3738) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4436) Bad night (789) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  They're like penises that have been put in a blender.

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  (315): They're like penises that have been put in a blender. http://tfl.nu/9hz0
  Replies (25) Good night (573) Bad night (5101) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already

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  (401): hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already http://tfl.nu/dz2h
  Replies (7) Good night (2665) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1087) Bad night (1083) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.

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  (314): I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise. http://tfl.nu/47tp
  Replies (13) Good night (1930) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

  (1-606): View more from Kentucky

  At least that would be something.

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  (606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn
  Replies (4) Good night (455) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.

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  (727): I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult. http://tfl.nu/f77x
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt

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