Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me