like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...