He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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