It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
