You work out of a Hotel?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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