Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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