Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
