speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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