so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
