I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Randomize
