sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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