OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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