He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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