I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize