Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
