So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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