You're completely useless in the revolution.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
