ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
no you cant smoke seaweed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Bring me that man meat
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
