Slut skills are useful in every country.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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