Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
two words...techno handjob
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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