i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i now understand why vodka
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
