I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Randomize
