so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize