Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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