this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
