the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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