So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
