ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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