what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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