Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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