so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
