If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
