Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Even the bartender felt bad for me
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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