finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
