dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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