WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
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Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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