oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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