I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
