he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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