Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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