I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
3 2 1 whiskey
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
