He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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