you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
