Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We just shotgunned beers for America
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize