they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
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Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
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Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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