Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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