I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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