We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
